The other night, I had the strangest dream ... it was two a.m. and my phone was ringing. This was either one of Meltzer’s infamous late-night phone calls or someone was in big trouble.
"What?!!?" I screamed into the phone. "Is this Jeff Bowdren?" the voice asked.
"Well, it ain’t Jim Hellwig’s personal pharmacist!"
"Mr. Bowdren. We’ve never met before, but my name is Ted Turner. Maybe you’ve heard of me?"
"Tramel, is this one of your goofy jokes?"
"My name isn’t Tramel. Its Turner."
"Yeah, right. Why’d you trade Dale Murphy?"
"I didni't know I'd done that!  Why wasn't I told?  Uh, never mind that.  I need to speak to you." "I’d like to talk to you, too. What’s the deal with you and Jane Fonda?"

  Suddenly Cornette goes crazy and says he knows who they are! The Kids then score a stunning upset. As the crowd erupts from the perceived "upset," Cornette announces that the New Kids are ... Owen Hart & Chris Benoit. He’s seen tapes of these guys from all over the world and that the Royal Family has been "hornswoggled." Lance Russell is at ringside quickly interviewing the surprise winners, who announce their intentions to go after titles. The guys are shaking hands with the crowd, etc., while Ross is extolling their virtues. Cornette is going bananas, mumbling that "Mama’s attorneys are supposed to have handled this." Ross asks him what he means by that, but Cornette declines. Finally, towards the end of the show, Terry Taylor appears at ringside, apparently ready to wrestle.

  Flair and Windham erupt into an argument, with Windham claiming that Flair was supposed to have reviewed the contract. Flair says the contract he reviewed was for one year, and that the contract must have been altered after he read and approved it. He continued by saying he had given the contract to the rest of the group to review and no one else had noticed it. Barry says he’s a wrestler, not a lawyer, and that Flair was supposed to have taken care of all the details. Flair and Windham appear to be close to blows, but Arn intervenes and calms them down. Sid sits apart from the group, glaring intently at Sting, who stares right back. The other Dudes seem to enjoy the dissention within the Horsemen. Finally, Arn asks Bill Watts whether the contract that Flair has signed as their representative is "the bottom line." Watts assures him that it is. Arn tells Barry and Ric that they have to play with the cards they’ve been dealt. He reminds them that the Horsemen have had their backs to the wall before and have always comes through.

  The match starts and the Kids are flying all over the place. Suddenly, down the aisle comes Cornette and the Midnight Express. Ross is going crazy wondering what the guys are doing there. Cook is tossed outside of the ring. The Gangster of Love and Cornette go to Benoit’s corner and distract Chris and the referee as this is happening. Owen does a hot move and has Barry covered. We didn’t see Double B (Beautiful Bobby) go to the top rope and prepare to give the leg drop to the back of Owen’s head. Jim Ross is screaming that the Midnight Express are trying to "permanently injure" the New Kids. Bobby comes flying down, but at the last second, Owen sees him and rolls out of the way. Bobby comes down, leg first, right across the throat of would-be opponent ... Barry Horowitz. Owen dropkicks Bobby out of the ring and the Midnight Express leave the ring area. We cut to a commercial with bedlam reigning in the ring and Barry Horowitz seemingly knocked cold.

  The guy in the chicken suit is holding up a derogatory sign, which says something like "Rooster," directed towards Taylor. Taylor has noticed that the chicken is leading the crowd in it’s boos against him and from time to time says something to the chicken. The finish has a Steamboat flurry send Taylor outside the ring. As Terry is attempting to compose himself, the chicken is standing in front of one of the openings in the gate. Taylor, obviously frustrated, goes over and grabs the sign away from the chicken and tears it up. The chicken takes a cup of soda and throws it in Terry’s face. The enraged Taylor wipes his face and has a shocked look. Suddenly, the chicken jumps into the ringside area and attacks Taylor. The two brawl on the floor as Steamboat and the referee show shocked reaction. Finally, the brawl carries into the ring with the chicken having the edge. Taylor eventually gets out of the ring as Steamboat holds back the chicken. Suddenly, the chicken removes the head of the suit to reveal ... Brian Pillman.

  The main event features Lex Luger against Sid Vicious. Okay, okay. This isn’t going to be Jushin Liger vs. Naoki Sano. We’ll try and keep it mercifully short. Before the match (we call it a "non-title" match), Sid tells Lex that the title he’s after is the world title and that he considers Lex nothing more than a "tune-up" for Sting. Lex tells Sting to go for it. As the match begins, Jim Ross & Bill Watts mention that this is Lex’s first "big" match since his injury at the hands of Stan Hansen. Is his neck one hundred percent?

  Terry gets nose-to-nose with Bill. "Don’t you dare bring my father’s name into this just because you got yourself fired as vice-president. It isn’t my problem."  "You are so right," Watts says, cutting Funk off. "It isn’t your problem … but you are the new vice-president of the NWA. And just to show you that my boys and I don’t care about what you or Ted Turner thinks ... boys! (Gordy & Doc grab Funk from behind.) Okay, Mr. Vice-President. Here’s what I think of you and your corporate bosses."  Watts slaps Funk in the face, and then spits on him. Funk is enraged and lashes out, kicking Watts in the stomach. All the heels lay into Funk … except DiBiase. Finally, Gordy puts Funk in a piledriver. Funk jumps up, neck bent to one side doing his punch-drunk walk. When he turns around, DiBiase hits him with a thunderous clothesline (thus cementing the student/teacher split). Down the aisle comes Flair, Steamboat, Sting & Muta, who begin a brawl with Watts’ guys. Watts himself is putting it to Funk down on the floor. The match-up in the ring is beginning to get one-sided when, down the aisle comes — you guessed it — those crazy Canucks, Owen & Chris. They turn the tide for the babyfaces.

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